5 the number of days we spent traveling.
30 the approximate number of hours we spent driving.
1,800 the approximate number of miles we traveled.
8 the number of states I drove through on my way to Jersey.
7 the number of times I felt tired, frustrated, and tempted to abandon the car, give up on the trip and permanently relocate to whatever town I was driving through at that moment.
482 the number of times I was involuntarily subjected to a Nicki Minaj song on the radio.
1 the number of times Gidget got loose in the hotel and chased down a room service waiter delivering someone else’s meal.
47 the number of times I profusely apologized for above incident.
0 the number of speeding tickets acquired on this journey. PHEW.
And after all of that…
…we finally made it safely to the land of fist pumps and hair bumps.